salience

Every Wednesday I have a feeling I try to capture.
And every Wednesday, I fall short.
But: I will try again. So bear with me.

Wednesday is always my big rotc day. My rotc nazi day if you'll pardon the expression, yet again. I have pt in the morning, MS I class at 8 and MS II class from 6-8 at night. I know it doesn't seem like much time, but it is a world more than what I am used to during the rest of the week. Instead of just one organized hour of rotc, I have four. And it can be overwhelming. Until it is all over.

Then I am filled with a sense of calm and accomplishment. Calm because it is all over and I can sleep. Finally. But defining accomplishment is the hard part.

I know what I want to do with my life. And I know how to get there. It is challenging from a day to day perspective. I am not a morning person, and I could sleep forever, so getting up is always a challenge. It would be an understatement to say I am bitter at those who are still sleeping when I get back from pt. Every morning, I resist the urge to scream as I get back to my hall: to wake everyone up, "because dammit! if I can't sleep no one else can!" ...But I never do. :)

Before everyone else even hears their alarms, I have lived a full day. I have gotten up, been somewhere outside of my dorm, met with a group of people and been on time, challenged myself to the extreme, and been rewarded with the open arms of a confident family. MS I class is a great class to learn what I will be doing in the military. MS II class is inspiring. Tonight, MAJ LaCross brought in a Marine that just got off active duty; they work together at Cisco Systems here in Boston. He's 33, a CPT, and was in infantry. I was surprised, because I learned so much from him. (My uncle is a retired Marine, and we all give him a hard time for being rather dumb: strong but dumb.) For two hours he talked, and answered all of our questions. He was the type of man I grew up with. Wherever we were stationed, my dad had friends over to the house all of the time. And they were part of the family. Cooking dinner was an event, always good ol' comida mexicana, and then we would all sit around the table and listen to stories for hours. Stories of whomever and my dad in the field together, pranks they would play on one another, and family military history. The Marine tonight stressed the family aspect and told us stories. All of the stories I have heard before from different men in different services: the military experience and what one gains from it. The challenge and the reward that cannot be put into words. I am looking forward to all of this.

Now to vent: Maybe that is why I seem to have a different perspective from the majority of my peers. I don't get stressed out by classes. Because honestly, in the grand scheme of things, I am lucky to be going to school. I am getting an education, at a small, Jesuit school, right outside Boston no less. Yes, I have work to do. But I asked for that when I enrolled. What is the big deal? This is not real life. This is a bubble. Really, everything will be fine, I promise. Get over yourselves, and live your lives. Enjoy being a student. And figure out where you want to go.

Calm. Because I know where I want to go, where I am going. And everything is exceptional.