salience
February 26, 2003
Today has been one of those days, one of those good days. :)
For the past week or so, I haven't been feeling especially attractive. I don't know what it is, I have these drastic mood swings: one morning, I am content to apply my make up because I know it enhances the features I'm proud to have. Then there are those mornings when I feel terrible, and makeup seems like it will only scream "Hey look!!" to the face I don't want to be mine.
Well, today was one of the latter days. To make things worse, my second scholarship audition was planned for this afternoon and I had tons of Spanish to get done and Matt Caminiti never showed up with the bOp! tickets he promised, so....yeah. Yuck.
Two pm rolled around and I headed down to the band room in Conte to warm up and relax before the audition. I am always mad nervous, and I think things like, "What the hell am I doing? I can't play this instrument...." even when I know I can. To make me even more nervous I borrowed Katie's instrument (an awesome senior who has helped me out so much) because my mom's buffet committed suicide last week: yep, the octave key spring bailed on me and it's currently being held together with gum wrappers and two strategically placed rubber bands. Terrible.
I warmed up and played through a few of the pieces from concert band. I am so excited, it's all really technical and amazing, a spectacular, intense program--we are the featured group the Saturday night of the Arts Festival in April. Fun stuff! I slowly gained my confidence back, my fingertips remembering where they belong and my mind calming into a meditative blank stare. The band room was completely empty: there was only me, with my metal chair and generic music stand, allowing my sound to reverberate through the open space. It was so serene, so fulfilling.
Time passed quicky and I was soon called into Seb's office, by Sara Hathaway yelling "Watch out! Maria Suarez from Georgia has arrived!!". :) Seb is such a nice guy, he puts me at ease whenever I talk to him. I played my Schubert excerpt, forgetting completely that this was an audition. Instead I remembered the countless nights in Alexander's basement, and the many hours of playing pieces for my mom's eager ears. Before I knew it, I had reached my final note, leaving silence. Seb took two seconds to write his notes down and then asked me to sit down. Before I could say anything, he rushed to compliment me, a completely foreign circumstance. He is usually overly critical, tough love I guess you could say. But after our little talk, my suspicions were confirmed: despite the little music program at BC, I am making progress. Yes!! :)
I came back to the room to Michelle sorting laundry (she's heading to Ireland with the BC Chorale tomorrow afternoon) and Kirsten in her chair, amused. Instantly, I was overwhelmed with peace. This year is so much better than last year. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome people. :)
To make things even better, Kirsten, Michelle and I made a trip to CVS--and guess what I finally found?!?! Something I had been waiting for, for 6 months from our CVS: COLORING BOOKS! Ha! So I bought a huge one, for 99 cents no less! Oh, bliss!
Plus, I just got back from the language lab, so the majority of my spanish work is behind me, thank goodness.
And: I will be home in 48 hours! :)
For the past week or so, I haven't been feeling especially attractive. I don't know what it is, I have these drastic mood swings: one morning, I am content to apply my make up because I know it enhances the features I'm proud to have. Then there are those mornings when I feel terrible, and makeup seems like it will only scream "Hey look!!" to the face I don't want to be mine.
Well, today was one of the latter days. To make things worse, my second scholarship audition was planned for this afternoon and I had tons of Spanish to get done and Matt Caminiti never showed up with the bOp! tickets he promised, so....yeah. Yuck.
Two pm rolled around and I headed down to the band room in Conte to warm up and relax before the audition. I am always mad nervous, and I think things like, "What the hell am I doing? I can't play this instrument...." even when I know I can. To make me even more nervous I borrowed Katie's instrument (an awesome senior who has helped me out so much) because my mom's buffet committed suicide last week: yep, the octave key spring bailed on me and it's currently being held together with gum wrappers and two strategically placed rubber bands. Terrible.
I warmed up and played through a few of the pieces from concert band. I am so excited, it's all really technical and amazing, a spectacular, intense program--we are the featured group the Saturday night of the Arts Festival in April. Fun stuff! I slowly gained my confidence back, my fingertips remembering where they belong and my mind calming into a meditative blank stare. The band room was completely empty: there was only me, with my metal chair and generic music stand, allowing my sound to reverberate through the open space. It was so serene, so fulfilling.
Time passed quicky and I was soon called into Seb's office, by Sara Hathaway yelling "Watch out! Maria Suarez from Georgia has arrived!!". :) Seb is such a nice guy, he puts me at ease whenever I talk to him. I played my Schubert excerpt, forgetting completely that this was an audition. Instead I remembered the countless nights in Alexander's basement, and the many hours of playing pieces for my mom's eager ears. Before I knew it, I had reached my final note, leaving silence. Seb took two seconds to write his notes down and then asked me to sit down. Before I could say anything, he rushed to compliment me, a completely foreign circumstance. He is usually overly critical, tough love I guess you could say. But after our little talk, my suspicions were confirmed: despite the little music program at BC, I am making progress. Yes!! :)
I came back to the room to Michelle sorting laundry (she's heading to Ireland with the BC Chorale tomorrow afternoon) and Kirsten in her chair, amused. Instantly, I was overwhelmed with peace. This year is so much better than last year. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome people. :)
To make things even better, Kirsten, Michelle and I made a trip to CVS--and guess what I finally found?!?! Something I had been waiting for, for 6 months from our CVS: COLORING BOOKS! Ha! So I bought a huge one, for 99 cents no less! Oh, bliss!
Plus, I just got back from the language lab, so the majority of my spanish work is behind me, thank goodness.
And: I will be home in 48 hours! :)
lasaliente, 21:13
