salience
July 15, 2003
Here lately I can't get out of this self-analyzing bubble. I have a great job, I'm home with my family, and everything is okay. Yet, I can't shake this feeling of dread. Not the good kind. You know, that you read about in the paper. I am no penniless street musician who is fueled by his father's death to make it big.
No. Lately I can't get it out of my head that I'm normal.
And to most people, this seems like an ordinary sentence. And after all, isn't "normal" a good thing? It implies that I am acceptable according to a generally accepted rubric, that everything will be fine.
But I don't want to be a part of any generalization. I'd rather be a loner, thank you. If I allow myself to get sucked into this category, I'll have to put up with other people who have been labeled "normal" as well. I don't want that responsibility, to continue your stereotype. Let's just say that it doesn't interest me, okay?
So where does that leave me? How do I stop counting down the days until I can remove myself from you? Trust me, no matter how hard you push, I will not form to this mold. Sure, I'll dance around here, every now and again letting a "normal" slip, giving you another tally on your Expect List. But see, I carry everything I need with me, honest. And believe you me, the day will come...
When I will just walk away.
No. Lately I can't get it out of my head that I'm normal.
And to most people, this seems like an ordinary sentence. And after all, isn't "normal" a good thing? It implies that I am acceptable according to a generally accepted rubric, that everything will be fine.
But I don't want to be a part of any generalization. I'd rather be a loner, thank you. If I allow myself to get sucked into this category, I'll have to put up with other people who have been labeled "normal" as well. I don't want that responsibility, to continue your stereotype. Let's just say that it doesn't interest me, okay?
So where does that leave me? How do I stop counting down the days until I can remove myself from you? Trust me, no matter how hard you push, I will not form to this mold. Sure, I'll dance around here, every now and again letting a "normal" slip, giving you another tally on your Expect List. But see, I carry everything I need with me, honest. And believe you me, the day will come...
When I will just walk away.
lasaliente, 09:39
