salience
August 13, 2003
A fellow intern recently relayed a story to me about a suicide at her university. With the stress and pressure, they are unfortunately pretty frequent. After all, UChicago is one of the top schools in the country...
See, suicide can be redundant. Instead of seeking help and support from those who wanted to be closest to him, an UChicago alum chose to end his life before it had started. You know the type, he’s in every high school and university. You might have even passed him on the street a few times. Sure, this one just graduated in June. And yeah, the job market is not at its peak. So to pass the time he shut himself up in his room and reverted to video games and Magic. Was he simply looking to relive his childhood? Or was it a clue to what he was thinking? Was he trying to escape reality?
I suppose there are instances when suicide is justifiable. As Americans we shudder when death enshrouds anyone. I’m not sure if we are truly mourning, or if we’re looking ahead, to when our lives of excess will one day end. Death of a loved one affects many. After all, a physical presence has been eliminated entirely. Yet when one is terminally ill, death is relief. Maybe this is the hardest thing to accept, that the pain of our bodies, even though just physical confines, holds influence over the lives we live. Not many who are living can sympathize with such pain, and it is simply our own jealousy which makes us think we have the right to decide the course of another’s life.
But to end one’s life simply because days will get better? Why choose to stop breathing when one has never really breathed in the first place? It’s quitting before he had even begun. Not only was he wasting time trying to escape reality when he could have found an interim job, but he had to confirm everyone’s suspicions by admitting he had built a life that was not worth living. Except he made one crucial mistake: he proclaimed his meager existence and personal hell when no one was around. He left no note, only a simple ciao away message with an angel emoticon. In his darkest moments he took his own life, not only from himself, but from his family and friends. Having been affected by both a suicide due to illness and a suicide as an escape, I know everyone can only be left wondering. How could this boy be so selfish as to believe he was all alone?
See, suicide can be redundant. Instead of seeking help and support from those who wanted to be closest to him, an UChicago alum chose to end his life before it had started. You know the type, he’s in every high school and university. You might have even passed him on the street a few times. Sure, this one just graduated in June. And yeah, the job market is not at its peak. So to pass the time he shut himself up in his room and reverted to video games and Magic. Was he simply looking to relive his childhood? Or was it a clue to what he was thinking? Was he trying to escape reality?
I suppose there are instances when suicide is justifiable. As Americans we shudder when death enshrouds anyone. I’m not sure if we are truly mourning, or if we’re looking ahead, to when our lives of excess will one day end. Death of a loved one affects many. After all, a physical presence has been eliminated entirely. Yet when one is terminally ill, death is relief. Maybe this is the hardest thing to accept, that the pain of our bodies, even though just physical confines, holds influence over the lives we live. Not many who are living can sympathize with such pain, and it is simply our own jealousy which makes us think we have the right to decide the course of another’s life.
But to end one’s life simply because days will get better? Why choose to stop breathing when one has never really breathed in the first place? It’s quitting before he had even begun. Not only was he wasting time trying to escape reality when he could have found an interim job, but he had to confirm everyone’s suspicions by admitting he had built a life that was not worth living. Except he made one crucial mistake: he proclaimed his meager existence and personal hell when no one was around. He left no note, only a simple ciao away message with an angel emoticon. In his darkest moments he took his own life, not only from himself, but from his family and friends. Having been affected by both a suicide due to illness and a suicide as an escape, I know everyone can only be left wondering. How could this boy be so selfish as to believe he was all alone?
lasaliente, 11:53
