salience
February 20, 2004
Uninspired is how I feel.
I'm sick, in the clutches of the flu.
But this is something else entirely:
Not expected, removed lethargy.
I'm trusting again.
It's familiar and scary.
But there are no hesitations with this one.
I want to open all the doors for him.
Give him everything I am.
Yet there is this guilt.
A whisper of Catholic habit.
I know I'm not enough.
I am defined by who I will never be.
By what I can never do.
I am a parameter he doesn't deserve.
I am unstable, unfit.
He is sand through my fingers.
I pass him by like the wind, yet
I always return to him like the water.
Fundamental and corrupt.
I bring nothing to enrich.
I am an empty, broken offer of humility.
And I wonder what makes me feel right now
Is where right here should be.
Am I that fractured?
Or is it we're that similar?
I'm sick, in the clutches of the flu.
But this is something else entirely:
Not expected, removed lethargy.
I'm trusting again.
It's familiar and scary.
But there are no hesitations with this one.
I want to open all the doors for him.
Give him everything I am.
Yet there is this guilt.
A whisper of Catholic habit.
I know I'm not enough.
I am defined by who I will never be.
By what I can never do.
I am a parameter he doesn't deserve.
I am unstable, unfit.
He is sand through my fingers.
I pass him by like the wind, yet
I always return to him like the water.
Fundamental and corrupt.
I bring nothing to enrich.
I am an empty, broken offer of humility.
And I wonder what makes me feel right now
Is where right here should be.
Am I that fractured?
Or is it we're that similar?
lasaliente, 01:04
