salience

July 15, 2004

I'm not comfortable
I can't do anything right
I'm excited for the future
but I pray it never gets here
everywhere I feel hated, despised
mental self-disfiguration is a quiet habit
I'm disturbed, haunted by what I fear
I fear everything
certainty seems uncertain
I'm choking on the prayers that used to comfort
I'm trying to continue the trend
and they love me for what I'm doing
but they see right through me--it's true,
I'm opaque, I've never been substantial
I strive for the iridescence of illusion
my face is only light refracted back to you
I change depending on where you stand

lasaliente, 11:14