salience
August 16, 2004
I thought maybe...
maybe if I tucked myself away in
the silence of their corners I'd be
able to focus as each
performs his spotlight in the
middle of this huge room.
observe, conclude, understand.
but all of this crouching
has made me stiff.
the pain's not acute.
or numbing, for that matter.
the echoes though, the
echoes are uncomfortable.
haunting.
I find myself looking
at myself, my clothes.
surprised.
where is my pristine removal??
my prestigious labcoat
full of my most favorite
pens and Important!!'s Remember!!'s.
everything is an experiment,
an idea someone else mentioned.
but now it's my experience.
time is passing quickly
but in subdued slow motion.
I don't feel alone.
but I'm isolated with what lives here.
we share this Outside.
we watch the colors streak by,
only its outlines, it's shadows registering.
self-doubt.
self-pity.
self-loathing.
I can't move past the self's lately.
too dark, it's too dark.
there's no light here.
maybe if I tucked myself away in
the silence of their corners I'd be
able to focus as each
performs his spotlight in the
middle of this huge room.
observe, conclude, understand.
but all of this crouching
has made me stiff.
the pain's not acute.
or numbing, for that matter.
the echoes though, the
echoes are uncomfortable.
haunting.
I find myself looking
at myself, my clothes.
surprised.
where is my pristine removal??
my prestigious labcoat
full of my most favorite
pens and Important!!'s Remember!!'s.
everything is an experiment,
an idea someone else mentioned.
but now it's my experience.
time is passing quickly
but in subdued slow motion.
I don't feel alone.
but I'm isolated with what lives here.
we share this Outside.
we watch the colors streak by,
only its outlines, it's shadows registering.
self-doubt.
self-pity.
self-loathing.
I can't move past the self's lately.
too dark, it's too dark.
there's no light here.
lasaliente, 10:07
