salience
October 24, 2005
Yes, that last entry was harsh. I was tired, emotionally exhausted, and very confused. It wasn't all bad, necessarily. Northwestern is a beautifully cold place, and Alex and I did get to talk about what we both need to change. We never really were able to start over on a clean slate last Christmas. It's back to that old saying, you have nothing to give if you have nothing to learn. Sure, I have the insecurity of maybe I'm just not pretty enough or close enough proximity wise to be with him. But I'm still very young (even if I'm not Jung, oh bad joke) and maybe being single right now is what I need. In my mind, I know I am a strong person who takes care of herself, and if anything, those girls in Evanston should be jealous of me. Haha. And what?! :)
My challenges are:
Not to alienate Alex, which is my instinct.
Start playing clarinet again, I need it.
Finding a healthy familia balance.
Focus on creating my life here.
Outlining for my Nano this year.
I have a great job, my apartment is safe and now roach free, most of the time. I am looking forward to seeing many long lost friends very soon (SHELL!! FLORITA!! FRIDAY!!) both in Boston and in DC/Maryland, even when I go back to Alphataterville for Thanksgiving. And I am okay. Things aren't going as planned, but when do they ever?
This is just one more notch on my belt ya'll.
My challenges are:
Not to alienate Alex, which is my instinct.
Start playing clarinet again, I need it.
Finding a healthy familia balance.
Focus on creating my life here.
Outlining for my Nano this year.
I have a great job, my apartment is safe and now roach free, most of the time. I am looking forward to seeing many long lost friends very soon (SHELL!! FLORITA!! FRIDAY!!) both in Boston and in DC/Maryland, even when I go back to Alphataterville for Thanksgiving. And I am okay. Things aren't going as planned, but when do they ever?
This is just one more notch on my belt ya'll.
lasaliente, 21:11
