salience

It's the excitement that gets me still, even after working for this firm for three months: to be learning from people who genuinely love what they do, it's contagious.

I've always been fascinated by numbers. The day my dad first started working on my times tables with me in first grade I can remember so clearly. Because he had taught everything from basic arithmetic to alegbra to stats to calculus, he always took the time to anticipate. I'd go to him with a percentages equation question and after him working on my already worn paper, I'd get back a derivative in response. I'd have to work and rework matrices until I figured out his long hand, and I always found it soothing. The concept that something as intangible as a value we assign a particular object as something concrete and finite fascinates me to this day.

Getting my licenses has opened up doors I'd only dreamed of before. Shell and I were talking and she was like, "Wow girl, I remember us talking a year ago and you having no idea where you'd be now, and look at you!!" And it's true. Never in my hopes did I expect to be one of the girls who were allowed to live the dream. It hasn't been easy getting to this point, there were many tight and uncomfortable momentsweeksmonths before being able to say, "Yes I work in the Park Avenue Tower." I go to work each morning happy with what I'm doing. I get to study each process and value system we use. I'm encouraged to ask questions, and I get similar long hand answers to those of my dad each and every time. I've been taken under the wing of someone who is not only a sincere financial planner but a genuine financier. He and I have a system of passwords before any conversation we have, always he's quizzing me to make sure I understand. Never can I accept a template handed to me without questioning its facets, there can be no "is" without a "why."

I am taking on more and more responsibility. Now that I am more familiar with how the business process works here, they've allowed me to get in up to my elbows in experiencing it. We have a sister office in San Francisco of ~80 people, which is about four times the size of our office in New York and often there are a lot of loops that need to be closed. Not only do I support the entire fund of funds team in San Francisco on my own, but I have separate and equally important responsibilities in New York.

(And yes, thank you everyone for asking. My twenty four hour stay in San Francisco for our company's holiday party was overwhelmingly amazing. It's a beautiful, warm city. And there is no substitute for meeting everyone I'm on the phone with every day. It was an experience that feels like it was a dream with the quick turnaround we had to do.)

But finally I am off and running in a career I've wanted for so long. At night, especially after hard days, I go home to my clarinet and my music, and it's nice to now have that duality. Dancing is fun as well, but there is an implied understanding with the salsa team that I will focus only on my work first and foremost and dance when I can. Abuela and I used to talk all the time about the difference between a career and a job. She would explain her work as a department store buyer in San Antonio and the initiatve and dedication she required of herself to excel at what she wanted to do. I'm seeing very little difference between goals and dreams lately. As long as I have a clear picture of where I want to be, I will get there. Like everything else ya'll, it's all just a matter of time.