salience

five notes in and my too long silence hear ends he plays so easily what I struggle with still the always familiar intro to philip glass' mad rush it had been almost a month since I had last seen him might as well have been a year or two minutes time is a fluid concept I never can keep straight but it had been ten months since he had last been to new york a lot has changed for me but then not much at all a year ago we were struggling he and I changes and hurt feelings hanging between us like a rancid smell and we're the same but very different a maturity we recognize and struggle with when we look into each other's eyes I will be moving to the 10044 in a matter of weeks and he auditioning and teching a drum line at a school he has never been involved with before it's all about give and take but mostly I'm taking it seems it's cyclic but the tide is coming in for me and I'm overwhelmed by the amount of water rising above me I didn't even see it coming uncomfortable holding what breath a gasp left but fully aware that when I resurface the water will have carried me to soft sand and a new perspective I never before realized how proud I was until one of the few people in my life who is closest to me said I am the one who holds me back you can only get so far on your own and a twenty second message on an answering machine lead to a seven minute phone call which has set a new standard of living I never fully believed tangible a surreal and mind numbing place to be I want you to experience this with me thank you is all I can offer because this is a favor I cannot ever hope to repay is it luck fate or love a question for which I need not ever know the answer