salience

No single reason why I haven't written in so long yall, apologies. Lots of family things going on and personal things going on and the creative side of my brain has tuned out under all of this stress I really just want to throw out my 12th story apartment window. It'd be work to gather it all up with just two hands, but you can't imagine how satisfying that large thud would be.

It's officially primavera, only you wouldn't know it in New England. Sure, it looks beautiful out, but it's still rather brisk. Sometimes I do question my choice of climate, actually more than sometimes I'd say.

It seems like all of my friends here are moving to Astoria, NY in Queens. It's just over the bridge from me actually. I found out my rent in this building on Roosevelt Island will be increasing 17.8% next year, officially marking my studio out of my price range. I may be following suit to Astoria, or to New Jersey (as depressing as that is, 'cause who likes New Jersey?).

Work is going well and I am taking the CFA Level I on 2 June. I'd say I'm about 70% done with my studying (right on schedule). The material is all basic finance and economics, but the volume is rather daunting - think Series 7 exam x 40.

My foot/leg condition has been improving ever so slowly. Those nerves, they just don't want to untangle for some reason. It's like Happy Noodle Boy says, "These hands, I just can't get them off my wrists!"

Alex got a job with a teaching program in NYC!! I still can't quite believe it. This long distance thing has been going on for what seems like forever now - it's hard to comprehend what life will be like when we're living in the same state again, much less the same metro area, possibly even the same zip code, if he finds out what borough he's teaching in before I have to move.

I just got back from vacationing with Alex's familia in Orlando. It's been almost two years since we were all last there (only two months for Alex and I who were there for New Years with my familia). I hadn't seen his sisters Nina and Cornelia since our graduation from BC, or his parents since I went to Vegas last March. It was good to catch up, and we did so much: MGM, Universal, Islands of Adventure, Epcot and comida! My did we eat, and eat, and eat. I loved every minute of it. :) The weather was alright, a little rainy and not as warm as I'd hoped, but still worlds better than NYC. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the trip:

At MGM, Alex and the Hero Stunt Driver, Curtis, who used to work under Marty (a Hyatt friend of Cornelia's who was with us), not only got us VIP seats for the stunt show, but took us backstage afterwards to give us the VIP tour.

At Universal, Alex posing with the penguins from Madagascar.

At MGM, at the diner we refer to as Ma's. All patrons are treated like children, and the waitstaff are either Ma or Uncle. This is our Uncle Tim feeding Nina the last of her lunch while making airplane noises.

Uncle Tim plugging Mrs. Jung's nose and acting as though he was about to stuff half of her sandwich into her mouth. We each had nicknames: Mr. Jung as Sparky, Alex as Scooter, Cornelia as Sunshine, Nina as Angel and myself as Princess. He asked me who I went to to get my ears pierced and why didn't they get it right the first time? (I have seven piercings in my right ear.) Alex was sent to the bathroom to wash his hands after not being able to tell Uncle Tim what color the soap was (blue) and Mr. Jung was sent after not being able to say which side of the sink the hot water was on (automatic faucet).

Hiding from the rain at MGM, Cornelia posing in her light up ears.

The Jungs are a close, blended family who want to have a good time. My last dinner there was at Cafe Tu Tu Tango, which is a really cool place. Artists work around you and all they serve are tapas/appetizers. The one we went to, all of the kids got our tarot cards read while Flamenco dancers performed around us. Supposedly I am a seeker who is striving to find a balance between practicality and my creative side; I am working to create an identity for myself within the traditions I was raised in; I will be very close with a woman in my life in the next six months; I will rely upon the presence of a male relative very strongly; and I need to believe in myself more strongly to achieve the dreams I long to fulfill. I can see all of that being true, plus there was something about my love life and needing to feel more attractive. It made me very pensive, especially since this woman only knew my face and nothing else. Tarot cards always bring back so many memories.

We also played many games around the dining room table in the condo after dinners, and it's amazing to me that I have recurring jokes with Alex's parents already. Even though I do still get nervous right before seeing them again, once I'm there it all evens out. I may even be going to Tanglewood this summer while Nina works the BSO season out there. Until then, I will see them when Alex graduates from Northwestern in June. In thanking the Jungs for a great time, I sent them a card saying they are what I think family should feel like. Nina and Cornelia kept saying I'm already half way a part of the family, and it's so comforting to have a model of what family life should be like in my life. It's not that I've lost all faith in marriage after my parents' ugly divorce, or that I think my family is still a disaster. We are recuperating and dealing with the stresses in our own ways, still very close. But more than anything, I see that you can never depend upon the future. There is a cautious hesitance echoing in the back of my mind I can't shake. I never really dreamed of a fairy tale wedding or a happy ending when I was little, it just wasn't my thing. And now, more than ever, I realize nothing ever just is, it's all a result of acceptance, hard work and dedication.

Kelly Kapowski called me tonight and it was great hearing from her. I haven't seen her since before Christmas when Peter (an old high school friend) was visiting, and I haven't seen Shell or Flora since Halloween. (Flora! I need to email you, tell me all about Scotland! Come visit before I lose my swank apartment!) I need another BC reunion, definitely. It's hit me that this November will be when I go back to conduct Beethoven for the kids I knew as freshmen when I was a senior at BC. Time is flying, two years almost already?!