salience
June 21, 2009
It's safe to say I've been afraid of falling in love. The last time I did, I knew deep down it wouldn't work out. I felt like it wouldn't matter in the end though, at least I would have those days, months, years to look back on later, after the inevitable heart break. Even though we talked randomly about marriage, I knew we would never reach that point. At the time, I may have said differently. I was very young and very scared. Scared to find out what the world held for me. Five years isn't a lifetime by any means, but it has put a lot into perspective. When we're young, we all make mistakes. But how do you grow without mistakes?
It takes time to grow into your own skin fully.
My boyfriend now is all encompassing. We've known each other for 15 years at this point, we've been dating for two. We talk practically every hour of every day that we're conscious. I miss him immediately when he leaves, if only to go to another room. He makes me laugh, think and occasionally cry. He challenges me to set goals for myself and holds me accountable: he adheres to a discipline matched by few. He is genuinely a happy-go-lucky person and he's elevated my often cynical, realistic tendencies. I remember being similar once, but it seems so long ago. He provides a balance: he is a good man and I'm lucky to have him in my life. I like who I am when we're together.
We've talked about marriage and it doesn't frighten me. Sure, my last forays into this were fleeting at best, but this? This resonates. He was engaged before, but as I said, we all make mistakes when we're young.
I am not afraid to say I am in love with this man. I hope one day I am fortunate enough to start a family with him. I would do anything for him, just like I know he would do for me.
He leaves for England at the end of September for nine months. To say I'll miss him is an understatement. I already cry just thinking about him leaving. But, I've decided to look at this time apart as just another test for us to face. We are great communicators, very logical and for the most part even tempered.
I can't wait to see what adventures the future holds for us.
It takes time to grow into your own skin fully.
My boyfriend now is all encompassing. We've known each other for 15 years at this point, we've been dating for two. We talk practically every hour of every day that we're conscious. I miss him immediately when he leaves, if only to go to another room. He makes me laugh, think and occasionally cry. He challenges me to set goals for myself and holds me accountable: he adheres to a discipline matched by few. He is genuinely a happy-go-lucky person and he's elevated my often cynical, realistic tendencies. I remember being similar once, but it seems so long ago. He provides a balance: he is a good man and I'm lucky to have him in my life. I like who I am when we're together.
We've talked about marriage and it doesn't frighten me. Sure, my last forays into this were fleeting at best, but this? This resonates. He was engaged before, but as I said, we all make mistakes when we're young.
I am not afraid to say I am in love with this man. I hope one day I am fortunate enough to start a family with him. I would do anything for him, just like I know he would do for me.
He leaves for England at the end of September for nine months. To say I'll miss him is an understatement. I already cry just thinking about him leaving. But, I've decided to look at this time apart as just another test for us to face. We are great communicators, very logical and for the most part even tempered.
I can't wait to see what adventures the future holds for us.
lasaliente, 22:37
